Spousal Communication

I met a cousin over the weekend.  She told me that she and her husband [1] were seeing a therapist.  I asked her and her husband what was the one main reason, the first that came to their minds, that necessitated therapy.

Before I continue, let me disclose that I am biased against  the need for therapy. [2]  Why does anyone need therapy when the Lord is always there to help, and when Our Mother, Mary, is always listening to our prayers and interceding for us, and when Jesus will always answer Her intercessions because of His love for Her.

My cousin seemed to be at a loss for words when I asked the question, but her husband answered that they were having a problem with communication.  My cousin agreed by saying that each person would make assumptions and those assumptions are not communicated.  In the course of the few minutes we were sharing, I asked if I could suggest something.  They agreed to hear me out.  I told them that they did not have an issue with communication.  I cannot imagine two educated and intelligent individuals, neither of whom was hard of hearing, would have a problem communicating with each other.  So I told them that there are three things that they have to have to resolve their issues: humility, charity and love.

I explained that humility comes from within, and must begin with the individual.  Then comes charity.  That is when one person gives to another.  After that comes love which is a union of two persons.  I said that was the most important of all, except for the love for God.

She admitted that she did have pride and said that I was good, and that I should be a shaman as we were walking into the room where the wedding guests were dancing.  As the music grew louder and louder and our speaking voices became more and more inaudible, I left her by saying that until you become Catholic (I actually meant that until she believed in God), then we can talk more.



[1] Technically, he was not her husband but her boyfriend even they have been together for years.  In this entry, I have taken the liberty to reclassify their legal status and therefore this entry is fiction.
[2] At one point in my life, I was in the depths of depression.  I had thought seriously about seeking a therapist.  Then I thought, what could the therapist do that God could not?  I knew that God could help me.  It was a difficult choice seeking help from a health care provider in Heaven, Who was invisible to me (and still is), Who did not speak to me (and still do not), and in Whom I must believe with all the faith that I had, which I determined at the time was only a tiny part of me.  The choice was a conscious one and deep down I knew I was right by putting by my entire hope in God that I would be healed, filling that tiny part of my entire being that was my faith.  The pain did not disappear instantly, but I felt the courage to go on, as difficult it was, I forged ahead, pains and prayers (and tears) all at the same time, and over time, I felt better and better, until one ordinary day during an uneventful moment, my pains left me silently, without notice, and never came back.