Today is Sunday, and God's shepherd is missing.
I have not kept count how many Sundays have gone by without going to Mass, let alone to confession. The last time I went to Mass, I was disappointed that Fr. Emmanuel was not there. Later, I read that he had already left the parish for another assignment. Someone else was the celebrant. He started his homily talking about the decorative symbols on his stole, that part of the vestment that a priest puts around the back of his neck that hangs down the front. I left as discreetly as I could. The combination of my initial disappointment together with my disillusionment brought upon by a priest asking the congregation to focus on the decorative symbols on his stole which he was apparently proud of but which I considered to be materialistic was too much for me to bear. I was at Mass to be spiritually uplifted; instead my attention had been directed toward meaningless ostentation. I did not think he could get me anywhere close to God when the first thing he had me focus on was the pride he had in his personal belongings. Perhaps I was impetuous and my conclusion rash, and I was wrong. If so, I leave the judgment to God and seek mercy and forgiveness for my trespass on this occasion and many, many others.
My disillusionment with priests in general is driving me further and further away from the Catholic church. The current crop, with some exceptions, are more concerned with status and politics than with their vocation, which is to continue where Christ had left off, awakening by means of humility and self-sacrifice the tenderness of love for one another which seems to be ossified by relative moralism under a secularist society. To have to listen to and observe their hypocrisy at Mass is almost like torture.
So in front of the television I watch (rather than being excited about attending Mass) shows including some on EWTN, a Catholic channel in the United States, that have little to no redeeming value. But, on EWTN today, a documentary on Fr. John Lee Tae-Seok, also known as Fr. Jolly in Sudan, caused my tears to flow, dissolving my calcifying heart toward Catholicism. The documentary is entitled Don't cry for me Sudan. [1]
Why had I not come across Fr. Jolly sooner? Was it because he was Korean and had not the fame of a European Mother Teresa under a Eurocentric Catholic church? Why does the world hardly know of this saintly priest that compelled Mary O'Regan to entitle her article in the Catholic Herald "The 21st-century 'saint' you've never heard of"? [2] I withhold answers to the latter two questions. My answer to the first follows.
The reason that I had not known of Fr. John Lee Tae-Seok any earlier is likely because there was no need to. I was not at the point of disillusionment. For this encounter to happen now is to save me from going down the path of darkness which I am more and more convinced is where the Catholic church is headed. Furthermore, had I read about Fr. John Lee Tae-Seok earlier, it would have been a mental note of an exceptional priest doing the work of God. To know of Fr. John Lee Tae-Seok after his death on "14 January 2010 at the age of 48" [3] is to know him not as an exceptional fellow human being but as God's chosen saint. In my mind, my fortuitous, or more accurately, "arranged" encounter with Fr. John Lee Tae-Soek is a gift from God, a deeply meaningful one.
Fr. John Lee Tae-Seok was blessed with poverty growing-up to be understanding and compassionate, with intelligence that he became a doctor and with musical talent that he was able to learn music and teach himself how to play musical instruments. With these gifts, he was called by God to Tonj in Sudan to serve, to give love and bring joy to the poor, the hungry, the injured, the sick, the lepers and the ignored at a time when a war was on-going, when the sick was not cared for, when people were dying of diseases and malnutrition. There, Fr. Jolly worked with the Tonj people to build a hospital and a school. To them, he was a priest, a father to the children, a mathematics and music teacher, an architect, a contractor, a laborer, a doctor and a conductor of a brass band.
How can any one person have so much talent, so much energy, enthusiasm and dedication to give to others? I could live another ten lives and would not have done nearly as much as Fr. John Lee Tae-Seok had done in 6-7 years (estimated) [4] in Tonj, Sudan. When God chooses a shepherd, the shepherd will be blessed with an abundance in order that it may in turn be given to those with nothing.
One may wish to question why did God not give such gifts to those in Tonj, Sudan, but instead they had to endure much pain and suffering? This is a question even Fr. John Lee Tae-Seok asked. In the documentary the narrator said that amidst the silence Fr. John Tae-Seok heard a voice, "Love, love, love. Love one another." [5] With so many people of Tonj loving him in return, love is apparently a 2-way street, overflowing with God's love, which Fr. Jolly and the Tonj people shared in life and share in spirit.
One may also wish to ask why was Fr. John Lee Tae-Seok struck with cancer so that he could not return to Tonj, Sudan, to continue serving those who need him? Perhaps he had completed his work here on earth and he was called by God to go home. To have to carry the pains of cancer beforehand, to not be able to absorb food in the latter stages of his life, is to perhaps to perfect him, to be like the suffering Jesus on the cross, so that he goes directly to Heaven without the need to go through Purgatory.
A period in Purgatory probably awaits many of today's priests, if Hell is not their eternal destination. If only they can be like Fr. Jolly of Sudan, administering to those under their care in Fr. Jolly's loving and selfless ways, the Catholic church would stand strong and Sunday Mass would truly be holy and not a mindless performance repeated at different times during the course of the day.
[1] https://vimeo.com/69300535 The title given to the documentary ought to be changed in my opinion to God's Shepherd In Sudan.
[2] http://www.catholicherald.co.uk/features/2011/02/25/the-21st-century-%E2%80%98saint%E2%80%99-you%E2%80%99ve-never-heard-of/
[3] http://www.faith2share.net/Mission/Missionaries/JohnTaeSukLee/tabid/298/language/en-GB/Default.aspx
[4] Fr. John Lee Tae-Seok went to Tonj, Sudan after his ordination in 2001. He returned to South Korea to his family in 2008 when he was diagnosed with cancer from which he died on January 14, 2010, without returning to Sudan. See http://www.hanbooks.com/wiyoubemyfrf.html
[5] https://vimeo.com/69300535 beginning at approximately 40:27. The segment began with these words: "In this world there are those who simply dream and those who turn those dreams into reality." Ouch! For this dreamer to hear this, it hurts, right to the bone.
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