My last entry this morning on Ben Breedlove was written from a positive point of view because I was mesmerized by Ben's positive and wholesome outlook on life. That was unintentional for I had wanted to point out what Ben had omitted to tell us and write from a negative point of view, but I had forgotten to do so because my thoughts went toward God’s peace and within it, there is no pettiness.
While thinking of God's peace, my wandering mind attempted to revisit the moments of divine peace that I personally experienced. As much as I wanted to relive those moments, I could only recall having the peace but could not feel it. Apparently, it is not the kind of peace that is available on demand.
Far away from God's peace, I am able to post an entry that will disappoint many and will risk being labeled as opportunistic by taking such wonderful and wholesome events in Ben Breedlove’s life and turning them into weapons of mass accusation. They would be right to criticize me and deservedly so.
Perhaps after writing this, I will learn from Ben Breedlove that I would be better off by not dwelling upon the negativity of others and but by concentrating on the gifts that I have and the gratitude that I owe.
Hopefully this will be the last time I will be negative but I am not optimistic.
Ben said that as he learned more about his heart condition, that it had scared him a lot, that he hated that feeling and that he was never allowed to play all the sports that his friends did. He said, “It kinda sucks that I missed out on that part of my life. I really just hoped that I could be the same as everyone else.” [1]
What Ben did not do was ask for a heart transplant, assuming his family could afford one, and if they could not, Ben did not write to President Obama or go on youtube to plead for donations. Ben also did not show any self-pity or disappointment that he had not received a heart transplant or any anxiety if he had to wait for one. Instead Ben was calm and at peace, and he told the world about God, the very God Who gave Ben less than He gave others, a fatal heart condition [2], but Ben accepted his humble place on earth and in return, God loved him.
God loved Ben Breedlove because Ben knew first hand and accepted the inequality that he was dealt. It sucked, but he had hope. He was scared, but he was not bitter. I surmise that Ben did not have a lover (although he had mentioned on youtube the manner in which he asked Devin to go to homecoming with him [3]), but he had God’s love when he was on earth and he is with God now.
In stark contrast to Ben Breedlove, many people who have been dealt less than what they believe they deserve are angry and embittered. They demand from those who have been given more to equalize God’s inequalities. The most arrogant and/or greedy of them have even killed in God’s name. Ironically, it is not with might but in humility is one able to discover that God’s scale of justice is tempered by love and errs on the side of forgiveness and compassion which is very different from man’s scale of justice that quantifies even the unquantifiable and errs on the side of bias and corruption.
When Ben Breedlove stood in front of God’s mirror [4], what he saw was what Francis of Assisi probably had seen, the beauty and perfection of humility internalized and God's scale of justice consumed entirely by God's love.
[1] http://www.youtube.com/user/TotalRandomness512
[2] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wozwf2i0x4Q&feature=related at approximately 1:36 – 2:27
[3] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxlrk7zcX2o&feature=related at approximately 3:40 – 3:56
[4] http://www.youtube.com/user/TotalRandomness512#p/a/u/0/a4LSEXsvRAI
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