Friday, September 2, 2011

Paix - 31 août

I am not one who is at peace. I can be doing nothing, thinking of nothing, being plain bored or simply day dreaming but I am not at peace. I know what it feels like to be at peace because I have been at peace before, but only momentarily, until two days ago.

That was the last day of August. For some reason, I felt it, an inner peace, not just for a moment, but the entire day. I saw myself in multiple situations where I would normally become agitated but for some reason was not. One of those situations stood out.

I am always in a rush to get to the gym and get impatient when there is a slow driver ahead. No different than any other day, that last day of August, at about the same time on the same road that I traveled on countless times before, going to the gym was, sure enough, an inattentive driver who was looking out his side window who did not move when the light turned green. On occasions such as this, my nature is to become impatient. I knew I had plenty of inner peace earlier in the day but was not sure if it had run out. So I was prepared to become impatient, kind of even wanted to experience impatience, but it never came. That was weird.

When the driver realized that the light must have been green for a while, he sped off. That was pretty funny. Continuing on my way, I thought to myself that the sky could have fallen on me right then and I would have been unflappable. Nothing mattered. It was an amazing feeling.

I realize that that was a gift and I was thankful.

I want to have more of those days filled with such powerful inner peace but sadly I have not had a moment of it since.

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