More Thoughts On Ben Breedlove’s Final Words

To recap: Ben Breedlove, 18 years old, died on Christmas Day, December 25th , 2011. On December 18th, he told us on youtube his other-worldly encounters in two parts. I reflected on Part 2 in my last entry. Today, new thoughts came up. I quote below, in part, from Part 1 of his youtube upload at http://www.youtube.com/user/TotalRandomness512:

“All my life, I’ve
had a heart condition
(HCM) short for
Hypertrophic cardio-
myopathy
It is a very
serious and dangerous
condition
As I grew older
I learned more
that it is dangerous
It has scared me a lot,
and I hate that feeling
I was never
allowed to play
all the sports that
my friends did.
It kinda sucks
that I missed out
on that part of my
life.
I really just
hoped that I
could be the same
as everyone else.
The first time
I cheated death
was when I was
4.
I had a life
threatening seizure
scary right?
My blood sugar
dropped to
14
I don’t
remember too
much from that
day.
Except one
thing that I
will never forget
I was being
wheeled down this
hall on a strecher
The two nurses
that were pushing
it, and my mom
running along side
There was this
big bright light
above me..
I couldn’t make
out what it was
because it was SO
bright
I told my mom,
‘Look at the bright
light!’ and pointed
UP.
She said she
didn’t see anything
There were
no lights on in
this hall.
I couldn’t take
my eyes off it.
and I couldn’t help
but smile.
I had no worries
at all, like nothing
else in the world
mattered.
And kept
smiling…”


Ben Breedlove was 4 years old when he saw a bright light as he was being wheeled down an unlit hospital hallway by two nurses but no lights were on at the time. His mother was beside him. His mother did not see the light and apparently neither did the two nurses, but Ben could not take his eyes off that light and “couldn’t help but smile.” He said, “I had no worries at all, like nothing else in the world mattered.” He kept on smiling.

I am not a child psychologist and cannot imagine what worries Ben had at 4 when he did not know HCM was serious. He found that out later. He said, “As I grew older I learned more[,] that it is dangerous[.] It has scared me a lot, and I hate that feeling[.]”

Yet, at 4, he felt peace in the presence of God’s light, assuming he had much to worry about, a burden too young to be carrying. Even if Ben did not have the burden of life's worries, this feeling of peace so completely filled Ben that it kept him smiling.

Ben’s experience tells much about our ability to sense things, that a child as young as 4 is able to differentiate between divine peace and a regular earthly peaceful existence, and that once a person has experienced divine peace, a gift from God, it is not easily forgotten and cannot be duplicated by human means. This peace is perfect in every way and the moment it arrives, you know what it is, it is something you desire and will always desire. Only God has this peace and only He is able to share with you this peace.

On December 6, 2011, when Ben was unconscious, he found himself “in this white room. No walls, it just went on and on… There was no sound. But that same peaceful feeling I had when I was 4.” [1] On Christmas Day, 2011, Ben left this world at the invitation of God to celebrate peace and the birthday of His Son, Jesus.

What a gift! What a blessing!

[1] http://www.youtube.com/user/TotalRandomness512#p/a/u/0/a4LSEXsvRAI

Peace - September 29

My mind devours me. Thankfully today it is full . Being able to exist in life's mundanity, that means doing necessary but boring things, is a welcomed relief. Therefore, I will leave this question for another day: Which is more heavenly, to engage in the repetition of life's tasks or to check out of life, if that were possible, and live in a mind full of dreams?

Paix - 31 août

I am not one who is at peace. I can be doing nothing, thinking of nothing, being plain bored or simply day dreaming but I am not at peace. I know what it feels like to be at peace because I have been at peace before, but only momentarily, until two days ago.

That was the last day of August. For some reason, I felt it, an inner peace, not just for a moment, but the entire day. I saw myself in multiple situations where I would normally become agitated but for some reason was not. One of those situations stood out.

I am always in a rush to get to the gym and get impatient when there is a slow driver ahead. No different than any other day, that last day of August, at about the same time on the same road that I traveled on countless times before, going to the gym was, sure enough, an inattentive driver who was looking out his side window who did not move when the light turned green. On occasions such as this, my nature is to become impatient. I knew I had plenty of inner peace earlier in the day but was not sure if it had run out. So I was prepared to become impatient, kind of even wanted to experience impatience, but it never came. That was weird.

When the driver realized that the light must have been green for a while, he sped off. That was pretty funny. Continuing on my way, I thought to myself that the sky could have fallen on me right then and I would have been unflappable. Nothing mattered. It was an amazing feeling.

I realize that that was a gift and I was thankful.

I want to have more of those days filled with such powerful inner peace but sadly I have not had a moment of it since.

Peace & Prosperity; Vengeance & Justice

Peace & Prosperity. These two words go well together like a marriage made in heaven. Nothing made in heaven is easily attainable but that does not mean we give up trying. Leaders who do not comprehend their significance or bother with them out of sheer arrogance, deceit and/or greed end up being Satan's agents.

Vengeance & Justice. Whoever these Satanists are (they know deep down who they are), they should have a place in Dante's Inferno. Someone should update Dante's Inferno - I would like to but do not know enough politics or political figures well enough to do so. There should also be some Wall Street mongols, war profiteers, lawyers, accountants, reporters and others in the mix.

Finally!

January 1, 2010

I am gay. I have no child but if I ever had a one, this is what I would teach him:

The strength of a man is measured by his preparedness for:

weaknesses in his body;
failures in his profession;
rejections in his love life;
deceit by his intellect;
compassion in his judgment;
loneliness in his quiet moments;
and honesty with his conscience.

And I would pray for him, always, that heaven will never shut him out; that he will be able to enter his personal Garden of Eden in his mind whenever he needs to; that he will be permitted to have peace whenever he needs it.