Faith, he is certain, is a gift from God because God was not part of his daily life as a boy. He grew up with non-religious parents and a Buddhist grandmother, attended a school run by Protestants and enrolled in a compulsory class at 9 years old that used a book with many chapters on prophets in the Old Testament. He remembers only the names Elijah and Elisha. For some reason, Elijah was favored over Elisha. He has since forgotten everything he had crammed into his boy brain. Some day, maybe he will read up on them again. Perhaps it was this class that introduced him to God, or perhaps God had already been introduced to him in some mysterious way. There were "other-worldly" events that had he had experienced during his pre-teen years. Several were repetitive dreams. One was a single event that was not a dream, and there was another single event that was a dream. However, none of these occurrences, real or imagined, and not one specific identifiable instance, marked the beginning of his faith in God.
While he is sure that faith is a gift, he, at the same time, cannot imagine that faith can be acquired from a course of study in a university or in a seminary, or from being a religious in any capacity, living in the Vatican, in a hermitage or by serving parishioners and those in impoverished neighborhoods around the world. That is not to say that those who already have the gift of faith cannot perform good deeds for the needy and for the community (whether or not religiously ordained) and be holy priests, monks, sisters and brothers.
This blogger has no idea how many have been given the gift of faith, how many do not have it at all and how many that have it but continue to question it. Perhaps it is time to put Free Will to the test since this blog is underscored by it. The question is: can one will freely the gift of faith? The answer has to be yes because it is Free Will that chooses to accept Christ or to accept Satan. To accept Christ is the equivalent of having unyielding faith in God; to accept Satan is the equivalent of having no faith in God or having reservations about putting one's full faith in God.
It is partial faith in God that makes the conversation interesting. Christ had already talked about it. He said, "'Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, "Move from here to there," and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.'" [2] Christ used a small mustard seed, not an overgrown pumpkin, and compared it to faith. In other words, faith is indivisible, consumable only as a whole, not required to be absorbed in bits and pieces and indeed, unable to be absorbed that way. One either takes all of it in or not at all, in much the way that one can swallow a mustard seed whole but not a giant pumpkin. See photographs below:
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| 1 to 2 mm Mustard Seed From Google Images |
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| Giant Pumpkin From Google Images |
Can faith grow? In this blogger's opinion, no, certainly not like the pumpkin above, for having faith is like having a fertilized ovum, one either has it inside or one does not. If faith can grow, then when is it full grown? And when faith is at its infancy, how would God respond, proportionate to the size of one's "growing" faith? For example, if one has only partial faith and prays for a pregnancy or a healing, how does one expect God to answer the prayer?
Going back to the assertion that faith is a gift of God, how is that reconcilable with the assertion that faith can be freely willed? Can a gift of God be willed? Of course not. Man cannot will God to give as man pleases. Since that is true, why can man will the gift of faith? Man can will to have the gift of faith because this will, to believe in God, to have unyielding faith in God, is identical to what God wants from man. When God and man are in absolute synchrony, man's will and God's gift are one and the same.
Having so concluded, this blogger has never consciously willed the gift of faith, although he believes that to be possible. Perhaps his gift of faith was gratuitous, or perhaps it was a result of a series of steps he unconsciously took. First, somehow he knew that there was a higher power. Even though he understood that he came from his parents, he was certain that he was not made by them and as such, they were instruments of Creation. He also believes that Creation has the power to lift a person born of flesh and change it to a person born of the Spirit, and with that change, subtle and undefinable attributes also change. Second, because he knew of a higher power, he realized that he has no control, allowing this higher power that he has come to know as God to give him the necessary protection. This protection can come when it is asked for, sometimes before. Third, by surrendering control of his life, he has by default asked God to take over and as such, faith was not so much a gratuitous gift but an act of love given by a protective parent to a vulnerable child.
Everyone is a vulnerable child. That is true regardless of age if one allows oneself to be once again innocent, trusting and dependent on the One loving Father. Innocence, trust and dependency calls out for love. God hears that call for love and answers. With God's love, the child learns to love in return. Faith then fades into the background for love is now front and center. If faith in God measuring the size of a mustard seed can figuratively move mountains, then love of God and neighbor will literally open the gates of Heaven.
[1] http://www.catholicnews.com/services/englishnews/2017/faith-cant-grow-without-temptation-pope-tells-rome-priests.cfm
[2] https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+17%3A14-20&version=NIV
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