Tuesday, April 17, 2012

No Thoughts On God, Sunday, April 15, 2012

I was out and about, occupying my time with activities a normal person might do, like getting a haircut, taking a walk in the Golden Gate Park and grocery shopping. I did not sit in front of my laptop to say a prayer, with hopes that I might be inspired to write something interesting about God.

Sunday, April 15, 2012, is in past. I would not have the chance to go back, to re-live it, to think about God and to pray for an inspiration. Even as I was conscious of the time that was passing, even as I was feeling a degree of guilt that I had not forced myself to meditate on God, I continued to deny God my time, my thoughts, my concentration and as much as I would hate to admit it, my love on that day (most of that day). Yet on that day, like any other day and any moment of any day, He would be there for me to rely on if I needed help. I would perish if God were to shut me out had I called out to God and that all I would see is a wall of darkness. I would be devastated.

This hour, I hope to have made up for my defiance, for in this hour I have acknowledged the weakness in my will, the gap in my love and the need to take a vacation from God when it is God who has given me free will, the capacity to love and the grace to know and experience divinity in all its glory. And I wanted to take a vacation from that which is perfect?

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